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[icon] So I'm really new at this... but I need a bit of advice from… - ♥ Online Romance - We met online! :)
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Time:11:26 pm
Current Mood:curiouscurious

So I'm really new at this... but I need a bit of advice from whomever can help out...
BG: I'm turning 17 next month, he's 16 (no biggy)... I'm from Canada, he's from the UK... There's nothing wrong with that right?? Altho we go through a total seperation when we don't talk to eachother (once school starts it's gonna be hard -_-) We've started talking last month, started dating Aug. 8th. We have a strong bond, but my question is...

After one year, is it alright to visit him?

Cuz we talk about flight plans & stuff... have been for awhile... altho it's not til next summer we talk about it... are we moving this to quickly or would it be a good thing to meet him...
Hope sumone can help =S

P.S.
I've seen him, but he's never seen me (I don't own a digital camera or a webcam =(
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wife_and_mom
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Time:2006-08-22 07:28 am (UTC)
My husband and I talked online for approximately 4 years online, on the phone and by writing letters to eachother before we ever began being a couple. Nine months after we got together, we decided to meet. For some people, meeting sooner rather than later is best, that way you can make sure you aren't wasting your time on something that isn't what you thought it was. Some people prefer to get a strong communication bond by talking online/on the phone for awhile before they meet.

I'll tell you this much, after my husband and I talked for that long before we met, our bond was incredibly strong. Once we met in person, you wouldn't believe how much stronger that bond became. Once you have them in your arms, things change and once you are separated it can be very difficult to deal with. I cried and felt so empty until he moved in with me a month after we met in person. Long distance relationships are hard before you meet but they become a hundred times harder after you meet due to the missing eachother so much and stuff.

I say this is something you need to answer yourself. Do you feel as though you are ready to meet him in person? Do you love him? Are you prepared to deal with the feelings that could become stressful (such as missing him tons, feeling empty) afterwards? I'm not saying it will be that hard for you, but it could be and you need to think about all of that before making any decisions.

I'm not trying to scare you out of it, I'm just explaining how my experience went. I'm not saying yours will be the same, the only way you'll know how everything will turn out is by experiencing it on your on. I say if you're ready then you should go for it. Just be careful.
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wunderaliceland
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Time:2006-08-22 11:33 pm (UTC)
Your story gives me hope. Me and my guy aren't officially together because we've tried it twice before..but we've kept in touch for three years and love each other very much. We plan to meet soon and if it goes off well we will start making plans to be together(Not an issue, as Im 22 and he's 26). I hope that after three years of feeling this way..once we meet it wont go away.
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wife_and_mom
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Time:2006-08-23 12:41 am (UTC)
After feeling that way for three years, I would say that when you do meet the feelings won't go away, instead they will get much much stronger. Goodluck. :)
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wunderaliceland
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Time:2006-08-23 01:15 am (UTC)
Thanks! Im so glad to know its working for you :)
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sarry777
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Time:2006-08-22 10:26 am (UTC)
It's up to you. If you're ready, go for it. I was with Matt for over 3 years before meeting, and we were friends for a year prior to that. We were going to wait another year, for my senior prom, but my mother offered our house for the summer if he had the ability to make it out here. We had astounding support from our parents, and his sent him here for $500.

Quite frankly, it was the best choice I ever made. I had the time of my life this summer. It was scary to meet but in less than an hour we were kissing.

Honestly? It wouldn't have gone over as smoothly had we met three years ago. The reason we got along so well in person was because we had so many experiences beforehand. We were with eachother through thick and thin. We knew each other, and didn't have to judge each other by how we perceived each other when we met.

I'd recommend doing it step-by-step like we did. Borrow a friends camera, or buy one, and show him what you look like. Call each other. Send letters to each other. It's VITAL that you let your parents know as well. Plane tickets are NOT cheap, and where would you stay? Weigh out everything in your mind.

Once you're sure you're comfortable (face it, the internet's a scary place - I was stalked as a 12 year old by a supposed boyfriend of a few months). I'm sure you're old enough to know the safety rules and all of that, but try to weigh out everything before deciding 100%.

I'm definitely not saying don't do it. A ton of people meet even sooner than that and get along great!
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kissintheclouds
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Time:2006-08-23 02:04 am (UTC)
you should wait till you totally sure you are ready. Me and my SO meet almost exactly one year after we met online but honeslty we are a strange couple we joked about getting married only 3 weeks afrer we met and feel in love only 2 weeks after we met. The joke became serious 1 month later and we moved up to webcams about that time also. I didn't have a webcam at first also but you can always get picts other ways to send to him. I suggest honeslty you buy a webcam and try out talking a few months this way with him it helps to you understand the other person more. I didn't have a webcam at first also but I had a digital camera that can do video conferanceing all I had to do was buy an ac adpator so there was enough power for it to work.
I didn't consider meeting up with him untill many months after we started to chat face to face and became more comfy around eachother ^_^ good luck!
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[icon] So I'm really new at this... but I need a bit of advice from… - ♥ Online Romance - We met online! :)
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